Charlie update 4/7/26
Charlie Elfstrand was born sometime in early 2021 as far as we can best guess. He found his way into a shelter in Los Banos, CA in January 2023, and we adopted him in March 2023. When he was rescued from the shelter, he was hours from being put down because he was so anxious.
For the past 3 years, Charlie has had the very best of care. He has been loved intensely. We have done ALL THE THINGS for him. He saw the allergy vet, the behavioral vet, the dog pain assessment person, the dog nutritionist, and trainers of all varieties. I dedicated my time and what felt like all our money on making sure that he had the best chance of success in life. We stayed home for months on end without going out so that we could deal with his separation anxiety at a slower pace. I still sing to him for half an hour before I leave the house! He is currently on medication for pain, anxiety, and allergies. And that doesn’t even count all of the times that he swallowed inappropriate things like socks, gloves, hair scrunchies, stuffed animal pieces, and more.
The work that we did was not in vain. When I was a kid, I used to listen to a song by Margaret Becker that said “It’s never for nothing when you love with no return. It’s never for nothing.” Charlie has been nothing but loved. He is more focused on me on walks. He can use the crate while we are gone in the afternoon and the evening. I am not afraid of him when it’s just me and him, and I am mostly not afraid of him with Marshall around. But I am afraid any time someone enters or leaves our home. I am a musician who can’t play music. I love the elliptical but be can’t tolerate me using it after 9 am. He has bitten 6 times, and both of us have been bitten. We take lots of space on walks so that he doesn’t feel trapped, and he has made improvements… but I still don’t trust him if anyone came too close. He is anxious when people come into the house, and mad at them with they leave. It has taken a HUGE toll on our mental health, our marriage, and our finances. The homeowner’s insurance policy for our new home is asking whether we have a dog that has bitten people. After discussing the situation with multiple vets and rescue professionals, we’ve decided that it’s time to give Charlie peace. We considered re-homing him, but his anxiety and bite history make that not a viable option.
One of our vets put it this way: “I think that a peaceful ending in your devoted, loving care is the very best gift that you can give Charlie. He lives his life in a state of high anxiety and fear, and I would not wish that experience on any animal. I would also not wish the life you and Marshall would have to live trying to manage a dog like Charlie on anyone. No matter how much he improves, he will never be a trustworthy dog in my opinion. So, with deep regret for your situation, and with hope that this decision and the move will take you and Marshall to a better place, let me know if you want … to formulate a plan.”
My heart is broken, but I am relieved that he will never have to be in another shelter and he will know love until the very end. I would love your empathy and support during this challenging time. I appreciate your kind words. I will not listen to any comments that suggest that we try one more thing or that we didn’t do enough or that we didn’t use the right trainer. We have done our best and are in a very difficult situation (which is also happening in the middle of a move and capacity is low). Thank you.
Our current plan is to put Charlie down on or around Friday 4/17. If you are one of Charlie’s accepted people and would like to come by to give him some scratches or play time before that, please let me know.
