connected, guts, rested, sleep, thriving
Lara Elfstrand
Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to ...

One of my favorite ways to relax is to do a progressive muscle relaxation. To do a progressive muscle relaxation, you go through each body part, tense it, and then feel the difference as you relax it. So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to teach kids how to do a progressive muscle relaxation. Here are my thoughts.

Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to Kids’ Relaxation
connected, rested, thriving
Lara Elfstrand
Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!

Welcome to Little Elf Family Services! I’m Lara Elfstrand. I am a parent coach, and I am here to help parents to feel connected, rested, and thriving. I have a master’s degree in early childhood special education (and a clear teaching credential), and I am endorsed as an infant family advanced transdisciplinary mental health practitioner.

Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!
rested, connected, thriving, reflection
Lara Elfstrand
The Real Reason I Do This Business (Hint: It’s ...

I became a parent in 2007, and it changed me and my life completely.  I realized just how much a person changes when they become a parent.  It changed my values, my priorities, and my marriage!  The things I learned cannot be summarized in one blog post or even in one blog.  But here are just a few things that I would start with:

The Real Reason I Do This Business (Hint: It’s About You and Me)
baby, pregnancy
Lara Elfstrand
What is a Nesting Party? How to Host and How to ...

Nesting parties ask us to re-think the way that we celebrate new parents and challenge us to focus on what the expecting parents need. It’s really less of a party and more of an opportunity to provide the family help.

Unlike baby showers, “Nesting parties shift the focus from stuff to support to help families prepare their homes and hearts for life with a new baby,” explains Lara Elfstrand, the pediatric sleep practitioner of Little Elf Family Services. 

What is a Nesting Party? How to Host and How to Show Up
Lara Elfstrand
Welcome, 2025!

As I’m getting into the groove of things in the new year, I’m excited to look forward to what is ahead in 2025.  Three things that I’m focusing on for 2025: celebration, self compassion, and guts.

Welcome, 2025!
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When Sleep Turns Scary: Understanding Night Terrors (and How to Help)

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When Sleep Turns Scary: Understanding Night Terrors (and How to Help)

What’s the difference between nightmares and night terrors?

Nightmares are bad dreams that wake us from sleep and often make it difficult to go back to sleep. Sleep terrors, sometimes called night terrors, “is a sleep disorder that occurs when a person sits up in bed with a loud scream or cry and a look of intense fear… The person tends to be unresponsive and will be confused and disoriented if awakened. Attempts to console the person may prolong or intensify the episode…” (American Academy of Sleep Medicine Parasomnia Factsheet).

Finding your child's ideal bedtime

Finding your child's ideal bedtime

Many of the children that I serve seem like they are not getting enough total hours of sleep in a day for their age. And while I certainly understand that different children MAY have different sleep needs, I also think it’s worth giving kids the OPPORTUNITY to get more sleep and see how their body responds. Here are two methods (from Elizabeth Pantley’s No-Cry Sleep Solutions for Babies through Preschoolers) for finding your child’s ideal bedtime.

Before and After Gottman: A Real Family’s Story

Before and After Gottman: A Real Family’s Story

In this 10 minute video, I share some of the impacts that teaching the Gottman Bringing Baby Home program (which is the basis for the upcoming Still Us Valentine’s Retreat) has had on our family.  Our family has experienced reduced friction, tension, and arguing through rituals of connection, such as:

  • Morning dances

  • A 2-person journal

  • Family meetings

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The Radical Act of Letting Your Needs Count

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The Radical Act of Letting Your Needs Count

You’ve heard it before: put your oxygen mask on first.
It can sound trite… until you’re the one running on empty.

The oxygen mask metaphor exists for a reason.

When parents’ needs are ignored, everything feels harder. When parents are supported, life feels more breathable. This retreat is designed to help you feel seen, cared for, and resourced so you can return home steadier and more connected. Come experience what it’s like when your needs are part of the plan.

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The world feels heavy. Here’s how parenting becomes an act of hope.

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The world feels heavy. Here’s how parenting becomes an act of hope.

When the world feels loud, heavy, and overwhelming, I remind myself of this:

The work that matters most is often small, slow, and close to home.

Raising children who know how to pause, repair, take turns, express needs, and stay curious is not separate from creating a more just and humane world. It’s part of it.

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Acknowledging what worked - celebrations for 2025

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Acknowledging what worked - celebrations for 2025

This 2025 client wins video highlights real progress families made this year. Small steps, big shifts, and moments worth celebrating. “Celebration” was one of my words of the year this past year, and this post is about pausing to acknowledge what worked for families and how hard my families have worked. These are families with children of ALL abilities. Let’s celebrate our wins!

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From Overwhelmed to Asleep: A Real-Life Coregulation Win

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From Overwhelmed to Asleep: A Real-Life Coregulation Win

Sometimes, the smallest moments—a deep breath, a hand on a forehead, a quiet pause—can create the biggest shifts. A mom I recently worked with had one of those moments, and with her permission, I want to share the story with you.

When we first met, this sweet boy spent the entire hour crying and screaming and whining, and sounding generally extremely overtired.

How to Introduce a Lovey to Help Your Child Sleep Better

How to Introduce a Lovey to Help Your Child Sleep Better

A lovey—sometimes called a comfort object—is more than just a cute stuffed animal or soft blanket. It’s a bridge between your child’s need for comfort and their growing ability to self-soothe. When introduced thoughtfully, a lovey can help your baby or toddler feel calm, connected, and ready for sleep.

Here’s how to make that introduction with care and intention.

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Why I’m Already Planning for The Next Time Change (and You Might Want To, Too)

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Why I’m Already Planning for The Next Time Change (and You Might Want To, Too)

Daylight Savings Time. Ugh, it is a struggle sometimes. I’ve been noticing that my body is struggling to sleep until my intended wake time. My Oura Ring has helped me figure out that my body does best when I sleep from 10:30 PM to 6:30 AM. Before the time change, I was often waking up between 5:30 and 6 AM and then doing a 30 minute hypnosis or two so that I could still get good rest (and heal my nervous system) until it was time to get up.

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It’s Safe to Go Slow: Jewelry as a Somatic Practice

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It’s Safe to Go Slow: Jewelry as a Somatic Practice

I am a learner. And what that means to me is that I am always in the process of growing, making mistakes, learning from them, and growing some more.

One of the ways that I support myself in that is that I love to have jewelry that reminds me of what I’m working on. Lately I’ve been making rings. Right now I have a ring that says “My needs matter” and another one that says “It’s safe to go slow.” I have another one arriving

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Explaining Scary Things Like Mr. Rogers: A Halloween Reflection

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Explaining Scary Things Like Mr. Rogers: A Halloween Reflection

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that we have adopted a rescue dog, Charlie, who often has had anxious behaviors. For a long time now, I’ve been wanting to write a blog post about what one of our dog trainers called “the Mr. Rogers hack.” She suggested that we talk to Charlie about scary things by using simple language to talk honestly about what is happening, imitating the style of Mr. Rogers.

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How about a walk after dinner?

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I feel like this is one of the first times that I could actually see the results of exercise on my glucose IN REAL TIME. The Glucose Goddess says that saying we don’t have to pay attention to our glucose because we don’t have diabetes is like saying we don’t have to brush our teeth because we don’t have cavities.

Well, for me the cookies at Harris Ranch Resort are like cryptonite.

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And the award goes to...: Why We Deserve the (Dog) Parents of the Year Award (and You Might Too)

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And the award goes to...: Why We Deserve the (Dog) Parents of the Year Award (and You Might Too)

These last few weeks have been tough. I’ve gotten TOO MUCH ADVICE from people who meant well, but my body interpreted it as criticism and shame. It’s been impacting my mental health and my sleep. And then my neighbors had a party and I sat on the porch swing and cried because having company over has been too much for Charlie and I so LONG to have friends and family members over.

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The Parenting Secret: Why “Gossiping” Can Transform Your Child’s Behavior

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The Parenting Secret: Why “Gossiping” Can Transform Your Child’s Behavior

I was reminded this week of a strategy that I haven’t used much, but I am going to focus on this week with Charlie. It’s a strategy that can be used to celebrate your child’s accomplishments, or to point out the impact of their inappropriate behavior. I like to say that where we put our focus is what we get more of. So one of the best strategies to reduce a behavior is to be really aware of what behavior we want instead and then be sure to acknowledge all the little tiny baby steps along the way to that behavior.

Sleep Smarter: Boost Your Body’s Melatonin Without Supplements

Sleep Smarter: Boost Your Body’s Melatonin Without Supplements

Melatonin is a hormone that helps us to fall asleep faster, and has many health benefits.

Whenever possible, we want to support our bodies to make melatonin rather than taking it in the form of a supplement.  Because melatonin is a hormone, children should not take it without a doctor’s approval.

Resources:

Baby Registry

Sacramento Resources

Nationwide Resources

©Lara Elfstrand, MA ECSE, IF-ATMHP, CPSI - Little Elf Family Services, P.O. Box 5098, Auburn, CA 95604

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