As the marriage apocalypse warrior (also known as the awesome, differentiating, behavior-changing ninja), I help couples to fight against behaviors that predict the end: (left to right) contempt, defensiveness, criticism, and stonewalling.
Three of the top skills of a value driven professional—a person who excels in their workplace—are: they know how to de escalate drama; they know how to accept feedback as a gift, and they know the right way to engage in conflict (according to Donald Miller in his book Business Made Simple). And you know what? Those are skills that I teach in my coaching and in my Gottman Bringing Baby Home classes. They're also skills that make for a great parent and that help us to have a more peaceful, nurturing postpartum period.
This week, your mission if you choose to accept it is to use the Gottman Card Decks app to express appreciation for one another.
Instructions: "Build fondness and admiration by using these simple phrases as examples of things to thank your partner for. Or just scroll through and show your partner the screen if it's hard for you to express yourself out loud!"
Hellos and goodbyes are part of our family's rituals of connection. They say "You are important to me." Each family has their own unique rituals that are important to them. If we are unsure of what rituals we want for our family, we can make some up! Here's a great resource to help us to do that: the rituals of connection card deck in the Gottman Card Decks app.
Instructions (from the app): "Select a card and discuss whether you would like to incorporate the ritual in your relationship, and if so, exactly how it should go, who should do what and when, and how it should end. Be sure to talk about if and why this is important to you, and how this ritual was handled (or mishandled) in your family or in previous relationships."
Resources:
©Lara Elfstrand, MA ECSE, IF-ATMHP - Little Elf Family Services, P.O. Box 5098, Auburn, CA 95604
