Top 5 Needs of New Parents

Here are some of the top reasons why a new family reaches out to me:

  • The increase in work load and the decrease in sleep can make everyone grumpy. Dads may withdraw, and moms may find themselves critical of their partner. We need skills to keep our friendship strong and resume physical intimacy.  

  • Before children, the person who cares the most about a disagreement often wins.  After children, both parents care intensely.  We need better skills for managing conflict than were necessary before children arrived.  

  • An individual baby may be fussier than we expected, and it's impacting the family.  We want to know "Why is my baby crying?"

  • New parents whose parents divorced want extra support for their relationship so that they don't pass on a legacy of divorce to their kids.   

  • New parents want tools to build a supportive relationship with their kids and with each other, finding their own unique balance of kindness and firmness, so that their child grows up to be kind and confident.  


Can you relate?  Do you know someone else who can relate?  I am here to help!  I help couples with young children reduce the long term effects of stress on their relationship and their children.  I help fussy babies; critical, overwhelmed moms; and withdrawn dads to find joy and connection together, so that they experience more joy, better sex, an intimate partnership, and supportive relationships with their kids.  

If this sounds like someone you know, please share this free offer with them.  

Right now I'm starting a new coaching program and I'm giving away 30-minute family breakthrough sessions.  I've opened up just a few slots on my calendar for these free sessions. 

In this session we will:

  • Get clear on your specific goals for your family

  • Identify what's stopping you from seeing the results you want

  • Zero in on your next best step to get you moving forward

To get started on your journey to managing conflict, reducing chaos, and connecting with your family, text "appointment" to 555888 or go to http://www.little-elf.org/appointments.

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Photo by Minnie Zhou on Unsplash

Reflections from the journey...

I can’t believe it’s June already. May was largely focused on clarifying who I am, so that I can continue to clarify who I serve and what problem I solve. The clarity is coming in the form of a dimmer switch becoming clearer a little bit at a time.

At the very end of April, I attended the Bringing Baby Home educator training in Sacramento. It meant that I could not attend my business mentorship weekend. Here are a few things that have happened since then:

  • I received the paperwork to become a Gottman Bringing Baby Home Training Specialist! Woo hoo!

  • I have been slowly working my way through the recordings from the business mentorship retreat that I missed, and putting them into practice. I am working to build a coaching program to support parents who believe that parenting is a skill that can be learned and want to build a home where they and their children can thrive. I help parents to reduce chaos, manage family conflict, and find their child's "just right challenge" so that they and their kids have more laughter and fewer tears! I am the "serenity prayer" parenting coach - helping families to have peace to accept what they cannot change, courage to change the things they can, and wisdom to know the difference.

  • I attended a workshop by Michael Bernoff, and as a result I have started to attend improv classes to increase my comfort zone. I am also planning to go back to Toastmasters to continue to improve my speaking and leadership skills.

I have also been participating in Stasia’s Style School. Stasia says, “Style isn't about the clothes. It's about YOU. It's about WHO YOU ARE on the inside. It's about standing strong in your body, and never hiding. It's about COURAGE, CONFIDENCE + CONGRUENCY.”

Today is graduation day from my 5-week Style School class. In my final reflection, I wrote:

So excited to be at the starting line of a new life of inside-outside congruence and hope. I grew up as a shy kid with a main focus of not attracting attention except for good grades. I had just started to get more outgoing, and then I was hit with the loss of 2 babies (one at 18 months and one miscarriage). After we lost our first one, I became an early childhood special educator. It gave me a chance to borrow kids and love on them and their parents. As things have shifted more and more towards inclusion, I find myself starting my own company doing parent coaching. I help parents to reduce chaos, manage family conflict, and find their child's "just right challenge" so that they and their kids have more laughter and fewer tears! I am the "serenity prayer" parenting coach - helping families to have peace to accept what they cannot change, courage to change the things they can, and wisdom to know the difference. I love it, and I am challenged because everyone wants to know "How many kids do you have?" Well, technically none but I'm still a mom! It seemed easier when I was totally in special education and I felt like everyone just "got it" better.

So I just really have appreciated digging into WHO I am and HOW I want to show up in the world. It has helped me to think more and more about my own positive character attributes. It has helped me to step into myself. It has helped me to remember what I'm all about. I am empathetic, insightful, intuitive (my clothes should make me breathe happy when I put them on), observant, playful, a learner (who makes mistakes and learns from them), and I am vibrant (full of LIFE)… The collage is my collage of favorite outfits from Style School.

If you or someone you know would be interested in a free 30 minute clarity call with me to discuss parenting goals and see if we would be a good fit to work together, please reach out to me at 408-679-2220 (text or voice) or lara@little-elf.org. Please also let me know if you need a speaker for a parenting group or parenting meet-up. I have spoken at Infant Development Association, Mothers of Preschoolers, Campbell Parent Participation Preschool, and Kaiser’s Mom & Baby group, and I would love to serve your group as well. Thanks!

Bring Out Your Inner Superhero

As you learned last month, I have teamed up with Live Your Message (www.liveyourmessage.com) to create a Little Elf Family Services that brings out the inner superhero in each of us… starting with me and creating a ripple effect to the families that I serve.  I have joined their year-long mentorship program, where I aim to spend this next year discovering more about who I am at my best self and getting to know my families better.  My goal is to see how my best self can serve your deepest family needs to build a program that provides the highest value for and deep relationships with the families I serve.  I am shifting my focus from “How do I fill my classes?” to “How can I be at my best to bring out your best? How can I support you to get more of your needs met?  How can I help you and your partner and your child(ren) to cry less and smile more and grow as people?”  I aim to provide services of the highest value, so that you say “that was worth every penny I spent.” Last month I promised that these newsletters would reflect what I am learning along the way, so:

My Title:  Mentor for Raising Happy, Respectful Kids Who Love to Learn(Aka the Parenting Jedi Master)

My Superpower:  I create safe spaces for growth and connection.

What I do:  From pregnancy to preschool, I help parents create a nurturing, safe and consistent home so that children grow to be respectful and kind learners. (I turn everyday parents into superheroes for their kids.)

Book Recommendation: Level Up Your Lifeby Steve Kamb

I hope you will join my "office hours” Thursday, April 18 at 1:30 PM or 8 PM for 30 minutes so that we can connect and get to know each other better.  And I am also scheduling individual free sessions to explore how parenting is going and how I can serve you. 

Here's how Office Hours work.  I will be available on Zoom for anyone who wants to chat.  We will spend the time each sharing a high and a low of our week, so that we can get support and encouragement from one another.  

A few notes;
- Download the Zoom app ahead of time so that you don't miss the fun because of technical issues.  
- If you object to being recorded, please let me know that before we start.  
- For now we will start with just a 30 minute call, so please be courteous to ensure that everyone gets a turn to speak.  

Who:
- Any parent or adult family member is crazy about a child and wants the opportunity to share some time together and hear from other parents.  

When:
- Thursday, April 18 at 1:30 PM or 8 PM for 30 minutes

How:
Dial in to:  
https://zoom.us/j/6961707205



What does joy look like?

Does it look like the smiles of our friends? A piece of art that we enjoy? A beautiful sunset? A colorful flower? Does it look like the light reflecting off of a rainbow of bubbles? Does it look like a thank you note from someone we care about? Sometimes it might look like the light at the end of the tunnel.

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