marriage
Lara Elfstrand
My husband calls me the "marriage apocalypse ...

As the marriage apocalypse warrior (also known as the awesome, differentiating, behavior-changing ninja), I help couples to fight against behaviors that predict the end: (left to right) contempt, defensiveness, criticism, and stonewalling.

My husband calls me the "marriage apocalypse warrior." Find out why!
Lara Elfstrand
Nesting Parties - The Coolest New Trend in ...
Nesting Parties - The Coolest New Trend in Parenting Preparation
Lara Elfstrand
3 parenting skills that also make you better in ...

Three of the top skills of a value driven professional—a person who excels in their workplace—are: they know how to de escalate drama; they know how to accept feedback as a gift, and they know the right way to engage in conflict (according to Donald Miller in his book Business Made Simple). And you know what? Those are skills that I teach in my coaching and in my Gottman Bringing Baby Home classes. They're also skills that make for a great parent and that help us to have a more peaceful, nurturing postpartum period.

3 parenting skills that also make you better in your work
Lara Elfstrand
Interview with a pelvic floor physical ...
Interview with a pelvic floor physical therapist on having a baby during a pandemic
Lara Elfstrand
Top 5 Needs of New Parents
Top 5 Needs of New Parents

Play challenge personal update

Some more ways that I am experimenting with play:  

  • Wearing a scarf to visit families so that I can play peekaboo with the babies and toddlers  
  • Light saber battles with wrapping paper tubes
  • Making a race car out of a cardboard box with the nephews
  • Extra walks and time on the elliptical
  • Finished Stuart Brown's book Play, and now I'm starting to read The Gift of Play: Why Adult Women Stop Playing And How To Start Again. by Brannen, Barbara
  • I'm exploring the things that I've enjoyed doing in the past. I'm learning that I enjoy physical play, and generally I enjoy getting outdoors.  I miss ice skating on a pond in the wintertime. I miss walks through the creeks of western New York. I enjoy walking on local trails, such as the Los Gatos Creek Trail.  I'm planning some dates with my hubby to go dancing.  
  • Getting face-to-face with the babies and toddlers that I work with, observing them and enjoying their sweet smiles.
  • I enjoy playing with the props that I use to emphasize a point when I am teaching or speaking. For example, I love to bring funny glasses to use to help us to look through someone else's point of view. I love to bring brain stress balls to teach about calming down first before trying to problem-solve. I love to use bubbles to teach babies (and adults) to calm and control their breath.  

The role of play in development

Play builds strong bodies and strong minds.  Because play allows children to practice situations before they get to them, play relieves stress and provides an opportunity for children to work out their fears.  Through careful observation and allowing the child to direct their own play, adults are given an opportunity to understand children better.  When I became a parent, I remember being surprised to find that there was a purpose for toys that went beyond just having fun!  It was very interesting for me to find out how much kids learn from toys, even from a very young age.  They can learn cause and effect, reaching, grasping, a desire for mobility when they see something out of reach that they want - just to name a few.

Play begins at infancy through simple, solitary observation of the world.  As the child’s cognitive and motor skills improve, he is able to interact more and more with both the objects and the people in his environment.  

In the next stage of play, children begin playing independently.  As Piaget says, they become “little scientists” and explore the world by learning cause and effect relationships.  For example, they might drop a plate over and over again to see what happens - both the sound and movement that the plate makes as it hits the floor and also the caregiver’s reaction.  

As children’s cognitive, social, and language skills improve, children first start to notice what other children are doing, and then they move into what is called “parallel play.”  This means that the children are playing independently but next to each other.  In this stage, they also start noticing other children (and adults) around them, observing them, and imitating their behavior.

Finally, children arrive at a stage where their play becomes more interactive.  As their cognitive skills improve, children learn mental representation, which allows them to begin to pretend.  First they participate in associative play by borrowing, lending, sharing, etc.  They can also start to play cooperative or organized play such as games and shared goals (Cook et al., 2008).

Block Play

Children generally learn to play with blocks in a sequence.  

Check out this PDF from the Montana State Library about the stages of block play.  

This YouTube video talks about all of the different things that kids learn through block play and presents the idea of doing a block party.  

At 17 months, this little girl is stacking and making block towers.  

This video highlights all the things that this young child is learning when playing with blocks.  

I also loved this quote on block play: "Unlike toys that have limited use or can be play with in only one way, open-ended toys and play-things can be used in diverse ways and with different levels of proficiency. Blocks, for example, can be used to stack, load in a wagon, build a tower, clap to music, or symbolically represent a person, vehicle, animal, or railroad track. Blocks are enjoyed differently at different ages as play behaviors and capabilities change over time. Blocks have an enduring quality essential to play that supports cognitive and language development at all ages. Think about it: Architects and engineers use blocks to create models of their proposed structures. By contrast, a wind-up mechanical or electronic toy is of little value if all one can do with it is watch it "perform," or if its use requires adult assistance" (Puckett & Black et al., 2009, p. 302).

Resources:

Baby Registry

Sacramento Resources

Nationwide Resources

©Lara Elfstrand, MA ECSE, IF-ATMHP - Little Elf Family Services, P.O. Box 5098, Auburn, CA 95604