Sometimes, the smallest moments—a deep breath, a hand on a forehead, a quiet pause—can create the biggest shifts. A mom I recently worked with had one of those moments, and with her permission, I want to share the story with you.
When we first met, this sweet boy spent the entire hour crying and screaming and whining, and sounding generally extremely overtired.
When the visit opened and I asked about wins, this sweet mom said that she didn’t think that it was going to work to breathe together, but that the other day when he was frustrated and tired, she took deep breaths and he fell asleep. As we were talking, we realized that he was showing some drowsy cues. It was getting a little bit late for a nap, but we figured that he could at least get in an hour without interrupting nighttime sleep. He was watching a show while we were talking. I asked what she would do if I wasn’t there, and she said that he gets really frustrated if she tries to put him down for a nap in the afternoons. I suggested that we just sit together on our video call and just take deep breaths together. So we did. As we sat there, she gently massaged his head and rubbed his eyebrows. Low and behold, those sweet eyes started to close. They got droopier and droopier. For a moment he briefly opened them and looked around, but then he closed them and they stayed closed. His mom and I wrapped up our call, so that she could go take a shower in peace.
His mom said, “It made me so happy !! It was very nice not having a toddler try to climb on me during my shower! I got to wash my hair standing up today with no screaming lol”
Here’s what worked:
watching TV at a key moment had him naturally lying down. It was a great example of a transition to sleep activity. While I don’t necessarily want kids to get addicted to screens to fall asleep, it did the job of getting him to lie down.
We noticed his drowsy cues and acted on them.
There was a blanket and cozy spot all set up for him.
When we saw the cues, we sat together in silence and just breathed together. We didn’t count how long we were breathing, but I intentionally made my exhales longer than my inhales. The goal to spread calm.
Mom massaged his forehead, which inspired him to close his eyes.
As a result, she got to shower in peace. We strengthened his calming muscles and our coregulation muscle.
What happened afterwards? “He slept for about an hour and woke up super happy and playful… He went to bed on time and super easy!”
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Related Content: Celebration
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