connected, guts, rested, sleep, thriving
Lara Elfstrand
Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to ...

One of my favorite ways to relax is to do a progressive muscle relaxation. To do a progressive muscle relaxation, you go through each body part, tense it, and then feel the difference as you relax it. So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to teach kids how to do a progressive muscle relaxation. Here are my thoughts.

Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to Kids’ Relaxation
connected, rested, thriving
Lara Elfstrand
Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!

Welcome to Little Elf Family Services! I’m Lara Elfstrand. I am a parent coach, and I am here to help parents to feel connected, rested, and thriving. I have a master’s degree in early childhood special education (and a clear teaching credential), and I am endorsed as an infant family advanced transdisciplinary mental health practitioner.

Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!
rested, connected, thriving, reflection
Lara Elfstrand
The Real Reason I Do This Business (Hint: It’s ...

I became a parent in 2007, and it changed me and my life completely.  I realized just how much a person changes when they become a parent.  It changed my values, my priorities, and my marriage!  The things I learned cannot be summarized in one blog post or even in one blog.  But here are just a few things that I would start with:

The Real Reason I Do This Business (Hint: It’s About You and Me)
baby, pregnancy
Lara Elfstrand
What is a Nesting Party? How to Host and How to ...

Nesting parties ask us to re-think the way that we celebrate new parents and challenge us to focus on what the expecting parents need. It’s really less of a party and more of an opportunity to provide the family help.

Unlike baby showers, “Nesting parties shift the focus from stuff to support to help families prepare their homes and hearts for life with a new baby,” explains Lara Elfstrand, the pediatric sleep practitioner of Little Elf Family Services. 

What is a Nesting Party? How to Host and How to Show Up
Lara Elfstrand
Welcome, 2025!

As I’m getting into the groove of things in the new year, I’m excited to look forward to what is ahead in 2025.  Three things that I’m focusing on for 2025: celebration, self compassion, and guts.

Welcome, 2025!

sleep

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When Sleep Turns Scary: Understanding Night Terrors (and How to Help)

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When Sleep Turns Scary: Understanding Night Terrors (and How to Help)

What’s the difference between nightmares and night terrors?

Nightmares are bad dreams that wake us from sleep and often make it difficult to go back to sleep. Sleep terrors, sometimes called night terrors, “is a sleep disorder that occurs when a person sits up in bed with a loud scream or cry and a look of intense fear… The person tends to be unresponsive and will be confused and disoriented if awakened. Attempts to console the person may prolong or intensify the episode…” (American Academy of Sleep Medicine Parasomnia Factsheet).

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Acknowledging what worked - celebrations for 2025

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Acknowledging what worked - celebrations for 2025

This 2025 client wins video highlights real progress families made this year. Small steps, big shifts, and moments worth celebrating. “Celebration” was one of my words of the year this past year, and this post is about pausing to acknowledge what worked for families and how hard my families have worked. These are families with children of ALL abilities. Let’s celebrate our wins!

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From Overwhelmed to Asleep: A Real-Life Coregulation Win

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From Overwhelmed to Asleep: A Real-Life Coregulation Win

Sometimes, the smallest moments—a deep breath, a hand on a forehead, a quiet pause—can create the biggest shifts. A mom I recently worked with had one of those moments, and with her permission, I want to share the story with you.

When we first met, this sweet boy spent the entire hour crying and screaming and whining, and sounding generally extremely overtired.

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Why I’m Already Planning for The Next Time Change (and You Might Want To, Too)

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Why I’m Already Planning for The Next Time Change (and You Might Want To, Too)

Daylight Savings Time. Ugh, it is a struggle sometimes. I’ve been noticing that my body is struggling to sleep until my intended wake time. My Oura Ring has helped me figure out that my body does best when I sleep from 10:30 PM to 6:30 AM. Before the time change, I was often waking up between 5:30 and 6 AM and then doing a 30 minute hypnosis or two so that I could still get good rest (and heal my nervous system) until it was time to get up.

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The Deals We Established... Sometimes They Gotta Change: Helping Kids Transition Through Routines

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The Deals We Established... Sometimes They Gotta Change: Helping Kids Transition Through Routines

I think a lot about the deals we establish with our littles—babies and even dogs! They often find comfort and safety in familiar routines, which is crucial for their development. After all, we need to feel safe in order to learn.

But as they grow, sometimes we need to change the deal.

Take sleep, for example.

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Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to Kids’ Relaxation

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Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to Kids’ Relaxation

One of my favorite ways to relax is to do a progressive muscle relaxation. To do a progressive muscle relaxation, you go through each body part, tense it, and then feel the difference as you relax it. So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to teach kids how to do a progressive muscle relaxation. Here are my thoughts.

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Transitioning from silly to sleepy

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Transitioning from silly to sleepy

It can be hard for kids to transition from being active to slowing down for sleep. I’ve been collecting ideas that you can experiment with to see what works for YOUR child. I would suggest that you offer these as choices that your child can pick from. I suggest all the time that we offer as many choices as we can, and only offer choices that are OK with us.

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Celebration & acknowledging what worked

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Celebration & acknowledging what worked

I think it’s so important to take some time to celebrate. One of my many favorite quotes is that “Being acknowledged for her competence helped her become moreso (1).” And that is one of my personal goals with all of the families that I serve: to help them to acknowledge their competence. I love to have a final (or almost final) session that’s just 15-30 minutes long, where we just take the time to celebrate what’s working and what impact it is having.

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Activities for falling asleep

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Activities for falling asleep

Most children and adults have to be laying still for about 10-30 minutes to start to enter Non-REM sleep. Learning to lay still can be very challenging for some children. They don’t know how to down-regulate to help their body to lay still for that amount of time.

Toddlers and older children need to be learning what they can do to help themselves get to sleep. Even adults tend to do a transitional activity for 10 minutes - reading or scrolling.

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Why What You Eat Could Be Waking You Up at Night

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Why What You Eat Could Be Waking You Up at Night

Today I am reflecting on the relationship between healthy eating and sleep.  This morning, I was listening to the audiobook “The Sleep Prescription” by Aric A. Prather, Ph.D.  I’ve been slowly working through his sleep “class” in HeadSpace and decided to listen to his audiobook as I work to improve sleep both for myself and for my clients.  I’m just on day 2 at the moment, but this quote really struck me.

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Calm Evenings Start with You—Reframe the Bedtime Routine for a Smoother Night!

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Calm Evenings Start with You—Reframe the Bedtime Routine for a Smoother Night!

Making bedtime more predictable, controllable, and moderate for a smoother night!

Sometimes just STARTING the bedtime routine can be a real struggle. All the time, I remind parents that “Stress that builds resilience is predictable, controllable, and moderate” (with thanks to Dr. Bruce Perry for the quote). So let’s explore some ways that we can help the bedtime routine to be predictable, controllable, and moderate. We’re going to work backwards and start with “moderate.”

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Lessons on sleep training from one of my favorite teachers: Charlie "the dog" Elfstrand

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Lessons on sleep training from one of my favorite teachers: Charlie "the dog" Elfstrand

Lot of times people ask me about sleep training and “cry it out” methods, and I think that what is happening in my house right now is a great example of my beliefs and strategies as of March 2025. Keep in mind that I am scheduled to become a Circle of Security Facilitator (based on years of attachment research) in April 2025, so please stay tuned to see if or how that changes things!. From what I can tell so far, this fits really nicely.

TLDR: I am focused on coregulation, creating a sense of DEEP calm in my body that I can spread through singing and presence, observation of how much stimulation is helpful (or not!), and use a custom approach based on the individual.

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Secrets to supporting your child's sleep while traveling

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Secrets to supporting your child's sleep while traveling

Have a trip coming up with your children? Here are some things to keep in mind to keep everyone feeling rested and getting along!

First, set aside some time before the trip to make a plan. See if you can find out what the space will be like where you are traveling. Are there options that would allow each person to have their own space?

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Reading our baby's body language to know what they need (the 6 states of infant consciousness)

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Reading our baby's body language to know what they need (the 6 states of infant consciousness)

Today I am focusing a lot on practicing learning my dog's body language, and it's reminding me of how key it is for ALL parents to learn their child's body language.

For example, every new parent should (in my opinion) have a basic understanding of the 6 states of infant consciousness:

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Tricks for infant sleep that no one tells you

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Tricks for infant sleep that no one tells you

Lack of sleep has such a rollover effect on other areas of our relationships and our parenting. New parents often find that lack of sleep is the most difficult part of parenting. Nerves get frayed and patience gets short with ourselves, our partners, and our children. Especially in the middle of the night we end up saying things that we never thought we would say to each other. But my goal is for your relationships to fill you with happiness and stay that way for the long haul? So what can we do?

Resources:

Baby Registry

Sacramento Resources

Nationwide Resources

©Lara Elfstrand, MA ECSE, IF-ATMHP, CPSI - Little Elf Family Services, P.O. Box 5098, Auburn, CA 95604

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