connected, guts, rested, sleep, thriving
Lara Elfstrand
Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to ...

Progressive muscle relaxation isn’t just for adults—it can be a playful and powerful way to help kids manage stress, too. By turning relaxation into games—like blowing bubbles with slow breaths, dancing like stiff robots and floppy noodles, or squeezing toes in the mud—we can teach children how to notice the difference between tension and calm. The best part? When parents join in, kids don’t just learn the skill—they feel the calm spread through the whole family.

Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to Kids’ Relaxation
connected, rested, thriving
Lara Elfstrand
Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!
Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!
guts, rested, sleep, thriving
Lara Elfstrand
Why What You Eat Could Be Waking You Up at Night

The Sleep-Food Connection

Today I am reflecting on the relationship between healthy eating and sleep.  This morning, I was listening to the audiobook “The Sleep Prescription” by Aric A. Prather, Ph.D.  I’ve been slowly working through his sleep “class” in HeadSpace and decided to listen to his audiobook as I work to improve sleep both for myself and for my clients.  I’m just on day 2 at the moment, but this quote really struck me.

“Carb lovers, pay attention here: carbs are an interesting case. Studies have unearthed that while most carbohydrates will actually help you fall asleep faster, only certain types will help you stay asleep. Simple and sugary carbs (think pizza, white bread, bagels, pasta) can cause more wake ups throughout the night. In contrast, complex carbs (again, these are the more high-fiber foods like sweet potatoes, oatmeal, and whole grains) can stabilize your sleep patterns—possibly, Dr. St-Onge theorizes, because they also stabilize your blood sugar.[11]” Excerpt From The Sleep Prescription by Aric A. Prather, PhD  https://books.apple.com/book/id1608147733 This material may be protected by copyright.

My Own Sleep & Glucose Journey

Lately I have discovered that my waking glucose levels are consistently in the pre-diabetic range.  I have been using the Stelo non-prescription continuous glucose monitor and reading books like Good Energy by Dr. Casey Means and The Glucose Revolution by Jessie Inchaupé.   And my sister-in-law gave me an extra Oura ring, which connects with the Stelo to give insights between glucose and other biomarkers! (Such an amazing gift… although I warn that there is an ongoing fee to use the Oura ring in addition to the up-front cost of the ring itself but also I think it’s totally worth it!).

Why What You Eat Could Be Waking You Up at Night
rested, connected, thriving, reflection
Lara Elfstrand
The Real Reason I Do This Business (Hint: It’s ...

The real reason I have my own business. Hint: It’s about you AND me.

The Real Reason I Do This Business (Hint: It’s About You and Me)
baby, pregnancy
Lara Elfstrand
What is a Nesting Party? How to Host and How to ...

Nesting parties ask us to re-think the way that we celebrate new parents and challenge us to focus on what the expecting parents need. It’s really less of a party and more of an opportunity to provide the family help.

Unlike baby showers, “Nesting parties shift the focus from stuff to support to help families prepare their homes and hearts for life with a new baby,” explains Lara Elfstrand, the pediatric sleep practitioner of Little Elf Family Services. 

What is a Nesting Party? How to Host and How to Show Up

thriving

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The Radical Act of Letting Your Needs Count

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You’ve heard it before: put your oxygen mask on first.
It can sound trite… until you’re the one running on empty.

The oxygen mask metaphor exists for a reason.

When parents’ needs are ignored, everything feels harder. When parents are supported, life feels more breathable. This retreat is designed to help you feel seen, cared for, and resourced so you can return home steadier and more connected. Come experience what it’s like when your needs are part of the plan.

The Still Us Valentine’s Retreat is an invitation to pause, breathe, and remember that your needs aren’t extra. They’re essential. Come feel what it’s like to be held, guided, and reminded that you matter.

(Video from a coaching session between somatics coach Stasia Savasuk and Lara Elfstrand)

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More Than Survival Mode: A Valentine’s Retreat for Real Connection

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💛 Still Us: A Valentine’s Retreat for Couples with Diapers & Night Wakings 💛
(also known as: Our Needs Matter)

When you have young kids, it’s so easy for everything to revolve around them.
They’re wonderful. They’re needy. And somewhere along the way… you get lost.

This retreat is a pause button.
A chance to remember that your relationship matters too.

✨ Time to talk about what you want for your family
✨ Simple, doable routines that bring warmth back into daily life
✨ Tools for handling conflict with more care and less wear-and-tear
✨ Tiny rituals that add up: kisses hello and goodbye, a daily dance, intentional touch
✨ A shared vision, so it’s not all on one partner

You don’t have to be struggling to come.
You can be doing really well and still want more connection, more ease, more “we’ve got each other.”

When parents feel supported by each other, kids feel it too.
This is about building a relationship that becomes a place of rest in a noisy, demanding world.

If your nervous system feels… tired 😮‍💨
This space is for you.

I’d love to see you there. 💛

Limited scholarships are available. Babies in arms are welcome to attend.

Related Content

Teamwork, Not Turfwars: Understanding Gatekeeping in Parenting

Celebrating Joy and Connection: A Father-Son Moment to Make You Smile

One of My Why’s: The Piña Colada Song

What to Expect at a Gottman Bringing Baby Home class at Little Elf Family Services (this will be the basis of the retreat)

Imagine a World Focused on Strengths, Playful Learning, and Empowered Parents

The #1 Secret to Healthy Relationships

Guiding Families toward Rest, Connection, and Joy

This video is also available on social media:

- on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/1394469478/videos/897194853260062/

- on Instagram @chica.and.charlie at https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTyOfZckiYY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

- on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/posts/laraelfstrand_still-us-a-valentines-retreat-for-couples-activity-7419841949299433472-D4Hh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAAAKXkgQBsXgLqBSKrt5zRdqp5oQlyHm6zis

Register now
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The world feels heavy. Here’s how parenting becomes an act of hope.

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The world feels heavy. Here’s how parenting becomes an act of hope.

The world feels heavy. Here’s how parenting becomes an act of hope.

When the world feels loud, heavy, and overwhelming, I remind myself of this:

The work that matters most is often small, slow, and close to home.


Raising children who know how to pause, repair, take turns, express needs, and stay curious is not separate from creating a more just and humane world. It’s part of it.


This February, I’m offering a Valentine’s retreat for families in pregnancy, postpartum, or with children up to age 5 in the greater Sacramento area.


We’ll focus on how to model respect, regulation, playfulness, and connection so our kids can grow up being light in complicated times.


Raising grounded, compassionate kids is not a small thing. It’s world-shaping work.


If this resonates, I’d love to have you with us. 🤍

Learn more
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How about a walk after dinner?

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I feel like this is one of the first times that I could actually see the results of exercise on my glucose IN REAL TIME. The Glucose Goddess says that saying we don’t have to pay attention to our glucose because we don’t have diabetes is like saying we don’t have to brush our teeth because we don’t have cavities.

Well, for me the cookies at Harris Ranch Resort are like cryptonite. They load my body with glucose but taste SO GOOD. We got to the hotel just before 4 pm yesterday, and I ate 2 of them. Then I figured that I would put the glucose hacks to the test.

I went for a walk to see if I could reduce the spike. My glucose was going up but only slightly. The dots stayed close together. Then my phone got down to 1% battery and I stopped to charge. My blood sugar started to go up at a faster pace with the dots getting farther apart. Then when I had a bit of charge to listen to my podcast, I resumed walking. My blood sugar went back down. I stopped walking and it did a bit of a rebound.

I am fascinated and inspired. I mean, it seemed to make a significant difference. Two cookies is clearly going to cause some kind of a roller coaster, but walking is easy and enjoyable and it clearly made a difference.

I’m planning to do the experiment again in a few days when we stay here again on the way home, but with a fully charged phone and just walk for an hour or so straight after eating the cookie(s) to see what happens. Check out the screenshot from my Stelo glucose monitor.

Update: I did the experiment again, walking for an hour without stopping after eating the cookies.

After eating the cookies, I walked for an hour and 5 minutes for a total of 2.12 miles. Here is the chart from my glucose monitor (with my notes):

What I notice is that after I ate the cookies, my blood sugar started to spike (the dots were farther apart). When I started walking, my blood sugar went up much more slowly (the dots were closer together). I walked for an hour and 5 minutes. That was long enough for my blood sugar to actually start going down. When I stopped walking, it started to go up again but more slowly this time. Then I ate a healthy dinner with eggs, veggies, beans, and black rice. Not sure what my blood sugar would have done if I hadn’t had dinner then, but the dots seemed to get closer together (maybe because of the fiber and protein?).

Related Content

Why What You Eat Could Be Waking You Up at Night (the impact of glucose on sleep)

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And the award goes to...: Why We Deserve the (Dog) Parents of the Year Award (and You Might Too)

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And the award goes to...: Why We Deserve the (Dog) Parents of the Year Award (and You Might Too)

These last few weeks have been tough. I’ve gotten TOO MUCH ADVICE from people who meant well, but my body interpreted it as criticism and shame. It’s been impacting my mental health and my sleep. And then my neighbors had a party and I sat on the porch swing and cried because having company over has been too much for Charlie and I so LONG to have friends and family members over.

And I know that when I get anxious, Charlie gets MORE anxious. When I cry, he hides behind the couch. Ouch. This is only making things worse.

So what have I done since then?

  • I have watched my nutrition, focusing on eating more whole foods and less processed foods.

  • I have protected my sleep schedule, using a lot of HeadSpace sleepcasts, letting my body know that I will do my best to listen to my body during the daytime and using sleep casts to at least get some deep rest during the night. I know that they don’t work for everyone, but for me the Indigo Gallery on HeadSpace at least helps me to relax deeply and usually at least sleep for a little bit.

  • I have joined Therapy in a Nutshell monthly membership, and I am working on ways to bring myself back to the present moment when I feel overwhelmed.

  • I’ve been doing a hypnosis in Joseph Clough’s “Hypnosis” app called “go easy on yourself.”

  • I scheduled time with my somatics coach, Stasia Savasuk. She helped me to start to be able to express myself and to hear my voice, to express my boundaries, and to see the gratitude for what’s actually working. I am hoping that by eating less processed foods, I will have money for more coaching with Stasia, and I know that that usually helps me considerably.

And then as I’ve been processing all of this, something interesting happened:

BOWEM Routine: A Simple Acronym for Morning Energy, Stress Relief, and Lasting Wellness

I’ve been working on improving my routines (as always) and this is an acronym that I created along the way. I encourage you to try a BOWEM break as soon as you can once you wake up and also a few times a day to help your body to recover from the stressors of the day. Here’s what it stands for:

  • Breathing (right now “box breathing” is working well for me, but you can experiment)

  • Outside

  • With Water

  • Eat a high fiber, high protein snack or meal

  • Then Move your body (something like a walk or a short mobility challenge or squats or something simple)

What’s the goal of the BOWEM routine? To improve (increase) our heart rate variability, tell our cells what time it is, lubricate our joints and keep our blood sugar steady. And this is not written in stone, so adapt it to fit your life. For example, this morning when I woke up, I opened the window and sat in front of the window to do my breathing and drink my water. I had half a protein bar. (Is it processed? I would say yes. But I picked one with no added seed oils and no added sugars, and I’ll follow it up with beans and protein after the dog walk.) I did my mobility workout and then got on the elliptical. For me, Charlie does not like the elliptical so I have to do it while he is still in his crate. If I go outside too early, I lose my chance to get on the elliptical. Charlie and I went outside together as soon as I was ready to get him up. So it’s not perfect, because life isn’t perfect. But it’s a good acronym to aim for a BOWEM break whenever you can to help your body to function at its best. Now, it’s time for my beans and protein and vegetables.

Related Content

Read this article in Spanish - Leer este artículo en español

Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to Kids’ Relaxation

Why What You Eat Could Be Waking You Up at Night

50 Ways to Take a Break

Tired and stressed? These simple habits will change your life

Breathing techniques for kids

Belly breathing for stress and anxiety, and for gut health

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Songs for joy and growth mindset

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Today I just wanted to share some of my favorite songs for joy and growth mindset, just for fun!

Dancing

Move In the Right Direction by Gossip

What If It All Goes Right by Amy Scruggs

What I Am by Will.I.Am (with Sesame Street)

Don’t Give Up by Bruno Mars (with Sesame Street)

Dancing Is Easy by Jason Derulo with Sesame Street

Try Everything by Shakira from Zootopia

Check out music by Mama Nous on her website or Mama Nous on YouTube and Fyutch & Aura V.

Also, David Kisor has a lot of great social emotional songs that I use again and again.


Also, check out these playlists on Apple Music:

  • Coregulation: low and slow, positive music that calms me and my dog, Charlie

  • Self compassion music (explicit version)

  • Self compassion music (toddler safer). Keep in mind that different parents have different expectations and values around what is toddler safe. If there’s a song that offends you, skip it. But the goal is self compassion!

Hoy quiero compartir algunas de mis canciones favoritas para gozar y para la mentalidad de crecimiento, solamente para divertirnos:

Soy Yo por Bomba Estéreo

Mi Pequeño Tesoro por Presuntos Implicados (para padres y madres)

Noto que mi lista en español está corta. ¿Qué canciones sabe usted que ayudan con la mentalidad de crecimiento?

Related Content

Other posts about joy

More Than Survival Mode: A Valentine’s Retreat for Real Connection

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Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to Kids’ Relaxation

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Tense, Release, Repeat: A Playful Guide to Kids’ Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation isn’t just for adults—it can be a playful and powerful way to help kids manage stress, too. By turning relaxation into games—like blowing bubbles with slow breaths, dancing like stiff robots and floppy noodles, or squeezing toes in the mud—we can teach children how to notice the difference between tension and calm. The best part? When parents join in, kids don’t just learn the skill—they feel the calm spread through the whole family.

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My Name Isn’t Laura: What Mistakes Can Teach Us

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My Name Isn’t Laura: What Mistakes Can Teach Us

A couple of days ago, I created a “Welcome to Little Elf Family Services” video. I thought it turned out decently well, and I posted it. I watched part of the captions and changed the spelling of “mountain cur” but only realized after I had posted the automated captions that they misspelled my name.

My name is Lara. It isn’t Laura. It’s like the state in Venezuela, like Superman’s mother, like Lara Croft, or Lara in the movie Dr. Zhivago (which is where it really comes from, although I honestly don’t know the story all that well).

So that got me thinking about mistakes. Mistakes are hard. They are challenging. And the way that we handle them matters.

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Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!

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Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!

Welcome to Little Elf Family Services! I’m Lara Elfstrand. I am a parent coach, and I am here to help parents to feel connected, rested, and thriving. I have a master’s degree in early childhood special education (and a clear teaching credential), and I am endorsed as an infant family advanced transdisciplinary mental health practitioner. I love to learn, and I have experience and education in sleep from the Palm Institute, in relationships from the Gottman Institute, and in attachment from Circle of Security. If you would like to feel more connected, rested, and thriving in your family, click the button below to schedule a free chat.

schedule now
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Celebration & acknowledging what worked

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Celebration & acknowledging what worked

I think it’s so important to take some time to celebrate. One of my many favorite quotes is that “Being acknowledged for her competence helped her become moreso (1).” And that is one of my personal goals with all of the families that I serve: to help them to acknowledge their competence. I love to have a final (or almost final) session that’s just 15-30 minutes long, where we just take the time to celebrate what’s working and what impact it is having.

For example, families might say,

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Preparing your child for school... from the beginning

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Preparing your child for school... from the beginning

What Does It Really Mean for Kids to Be Ready for School?

As a parent, we really want our kids to be ready for school. But what does that mean exactly? What does it look like for a child to be ready for school?

It’s easy to think that it means that they can identify their letters for reading or their numbers for math. But as a child development specialist, I actually don’t think that those things are all that important.

What are some key things that ACTUALLY have been shown to help children in school? Here are my 2 cents:

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Why What You Eat Could Be Waking You Up at Night

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Why What You Eat Could Be Waking You Up at Night

The Sleep-Food Connection

Today I am reflecting on the relationship between healthy eating and sleep.  This morning, I was listening to the audiobook “The Sleep Prescription” by Aric A. Prather, Ph.D.  I’ve been slowly working through his sleep “class” in HeadSpace and decided to listen to his audiobook as I work to improve sleep both for myself and for my clients.  I’m just on day 2 at the moment, but this quote really struck me.

“Carb lovers, pay attention here: carbs are an interesting case. Studies have unearthed that while most carbohydrates will actually help you fall asleep faster, only certain types will help you stay asleep. Simple and sugary carbs (think pizza, white bread, bagels, pasta) can cause more wake ups throughout the night. In contrast, complex carbs (again, these are the more high-fiber foods like sweet potatoes, oatmeal, and whole grains) can stabilize your sleep patterns—possibly, Dr. St-Onge theorizes, because they also stabilize your blood sugar.[11]” Excerpt From The Sleep Prescription by Aric A. Prather, PhD  https://books.apple.com/book/id1608147733 This material may be protected by copyright.

My Own Sleep & Glucose Journey

Lately I have discovered that my waking glucose levels are consistently in the pre-diabetic range.  I have been using the Stelo non-prescription continuous glucose monitor and reading books like Good Energy by Dr. Casey Means and The Glucose Revolution by Jessie Inchaupé.   And my sister-in-law gave me an extra Oura ring, which connects with the Stelo to give insights between glucose and other biomarkers! (Such an amazing gift… although I warn that there is an ongoing fee to use the Oura ring in addition to the up-front cost of the ring itself but also I think it’s totally worth it!).

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5 secrets for moving your body after baby

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5 secrets for moving your body after baby

When should new moms should start pelvic floor exercises? When should they start walking? How can new birthing parents find a balance between "not too much too soon" and "not too little either"? When can they resume high impact exercises like running? What are signs that new moms should pay attention to after birth, which may indicate they need to scale back their activity level?

Watch the video now!

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50 ways to take a break

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The Secret Weapon for Car Seat Battles: Toddler Songs That Make Buckling Up a Breeze!

The Secret Weapon for Car Seat Battles: Toddler Songs That Make Buckling Up a Breeze!

Sometimes it can be hard to transition from one activity to the next, and getting into the car can be a struggle. And clicking that seatbelt means that we have to be able to be still, which can be a real challenge!

Adding music to the day can be one way to make daily routines go a little bit easier.

Resources:

Baby Registry

Sacramento Resources

Nationwide Resources

©Lara Elfstrand, MA ECSE, IF-ATMHP, CPSI - Little Elf Family Services, P.O. Box 5098, Auburn, CA 95604

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