BOWEM Routine: A Simple Acronym for Morning Energy, Stress Relief, and Lasting Wellness

I’ve been working on improving my routines (as always) and this is an acronym that I created along the way. I encourage you to try a BOWEM break as soon as you can once you wake up and also a few times a day to help your body to recover from the stressors of the day. Here’s what it stands for:

• Breathing (right now “box breathing” is working well for me, but you can experiment)

• Outside

• With Water

• Eat a high fiber, high protein snack or meal

• Then Move your body (something like a walk or a short mobility challenge or squats or something simple)

What’s the goal of the BOWEM routine? To improve (increase) our heart rate variability, tell our cells what time it is, lubricate our joints and keep our blood sugar steady. And this is not written in stone, so adapt it to fit your life. For example, this morning when I woke up, I opened the window and sat in front of the window to do my breathing and drink my water. I had half a protein bar. (Is it processed? I would say yes. But I picked one with no added seed oils and no added sugars, and I’ll follow it up with beans and protein after the dog walk.) I did my mobility workout and then got on the elliptical. For me, Charlie does not like the elliptical so I have to do it while he is still in his crate. If I go outside too early, I lose my chance to get on the elliptical. Charlie and I went outside together as soon as I was ready to get him up. So it’s not perfect, because life isn’t perfect. But it’s a good acronym to aim for a BOWEM break whenever you can to help your body to function at its best. Now, it’s time for my beans and protein and vegetables.

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Songs for joy and growth mindset

Today I just wanted to share some of my favorite songs for joy and growth mindset, just for fun!

Move In the Right Direction by Gossip

What If It All Goes Right by Amy Scruggs

What I Am by Will.I.Am (with Sesame Street)

Don’t Give Up by Bruno Mars (with Sesame Street)

Dancing Is Easy by Jason Derulo with Sesame Street

Try Everything by Shakira from Zootopia

Check out music by Mama Nous on her website or Mama Nous on YouTube and Fyutch & Aura V.

Also, David Kisor has a lot of great social emotional songs that I use again and again.

Hoy quiero compartir algunas de mis canciones favoritas para gozar y para la mentalidad de crecimiento, solamente para divertirnos:

Soy Yo por Bomba Estéreo

Mi Pequeño Tesoro por Presuntos Implicados (para padres y madres)

Noto que mi lista en español está corta. ¿Qué canciones sabe usted que ayudan con la mentalidad de crecimiento?

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Other posts about joy

Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!

Welcome to Little Elf Family Services!

Welcome to Little Elf Family Services! I’m Lara Elfstrand. I am a parent coach, and I am here to help parents to feel connected, rested, and thriving. I have a master’s degree in early childhood special education (and a clear teaching credential), and I am endorsed as an infant family advanced transdisciplinary mental health practitioner. I love to learn, and I have experience and education in sleep from the Palm Institute, in relationships from the Gottman Institute, and in attachment from Circle of Security. If you would like to feel more connected, rested, and thriving in your family, click the button below to schedule a free chat.

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Posts about family relationships & connection

Posts about sleep & feeling rested

Posts about pregnancy, birth & postpartum

Posts about toddlers

50 ways to take a break

This is a handout that I reference a lot both to generate ideas for myself and for my clients. I use it both for breaks and for celebrations! Which one are you going to do next?

50 ways to take a break!

Guiding Families Toward Rest, Connection, and Joy

At Little Elf Family Services, I believe that parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about connection. Families thrive when they feel supported, equipped, and empowered, and my work is designed to help parents move from exhaustion and frustration to confidence and joy.

As a sleep consultant, marriage and parenting coach, and early childhood special educator, I blend evidence-based strategies with compassionate support. My approach draws from experts like John & Julie Gottman, Bruce Perry, Stewart Brown, Brené Brown, and Dan Siegel, helping families find solutions that align with their values and unique needs.

A Calm & Connected Approach to Parenting

Parenting can feel overwhelming, but struggle and confrontation don’t have to be the norm. Clients often express relief when they realize they don’t have to panic over each new challenge. Instead, they learn to approach problems with a steady, thoughtful perspective, making small shifts that create lasting positive change.

“We knew we didn't need to panic when facing a new problem as you would be there, guiding us.”
“We’re also constantly amazed by how your parenting philosophy has minimized confrontation and struggle, and allowed us to focus on the happy and joyful moments that our child brings us.”

Empowering Families with Practical Tools

I provide resources, guidance, and encouragement—but the real magic happens when families take those tools and make them their own. My work isn’t about fixing families; it’s about helping them find their own strengths and rhythm.

"She won’t do the work for you—but she will give you resources, tools, and support to do it yourself. And she will be cheering you on every step of the way.”

Science-Backed Strategies for Real-Life Parenting

From gentle start-up conversations (a Gottman-based approach that reduces conflict) to completing stress cycles (so parents don’t carry frustration day after day), my work is rooted in strategies that make a real difference. Laughter, connection, and small, consistent changes help families shift from surviving to thriving.

"We are better parents, a better couple, and better people for knowing her and having worked with her."

Whether you’re navigating infant sleep, toddler emotions, or the ups and downs of parenting, my goal is to help you feel rested, connected, and confident—so you can focus on what truly matters: the joyful moments in family life.

**This post was created by ChatGPT to summarize my work and includes real testimonials from real people that I have served. I love it and it fits me beautifully, so I am sharing it here. 9/4/25 I am also adding links to blog posts on related topics.

Breathing Techniques for Kids

Blow big bubbles to practice slow, calm breaths. Then see how you can blow many small bubbles when you breathe faster!

While we are on the topic of breathing, here are some other breathing strategies that I recommend to my clients often:

• Kira Willey’s Mindful Moments for Kids

• Conscious Discipline breathing exercises for kids and parents (YouTube playlist)

• My favorite Conscious Discipline breathing video

While researching for this blog post, I also found this cute puffer fish that goes up and down as you breathe and I kind of love it!

Also I love to remind parents that blowing bubbles is an awesome way to practice breathing! Blow big bubbles to practice slow, calm breaths. Then see how you can blow many small bubbles when you breathe faster! Can you blow bubbles with belly breathing? Just know that shaking bubbles or waving the wand inside of the bubble solution will make the solution get foamy and stop working.

Reminder: Why practice breathing with your kids? It builds calm. It tells the brain that they are safe, which can help them to think more clearly and make better decisions. It can help to reduce cortisol, which can be helpful as part of a pre-sleep routine to help prepare the body for rest and shut off from a busy day. It also helps with gut health, according to Dr. Elisa Song of the book Healthy Kids, Happy Kids.

April additions: One of the things I love to do is to use the things that kids already know and love and build on it! So recently I found:

Pokemon breathing!

Minecraft breathing!

Dinosaur breathing!

What would YOUR kids add to this list? Can you find some videos on YouTube? Share them with me!

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Strategies for managing stress part 1: completing stress cycles

Stress. We’ve all got it. We sometimes prefer to ignore it. Our bodies need a way to manage it so that it doesn’t make us sick—either physically, mentally, or emotionally.

Lately I’ve been working with my coaching clients on the concept of completing stress cycles. What that means is that we need to tell our bodies that the stress is done. So for example, if we were our ancestors who were out in the woods and we were being chased by a lion, we could fight the lion, we could run away from the lion (fight or flight), or if the lion really is going to get us, we could freeze and play dead and hope that the lion goes elsewhere. So our stress response system generally goes into fight, flight, or freeze. If we conquer that lion and either fight them or run away and we escape, we run back to our tribe. We jump up and down. We can big hugs and we tell our bodies that we feel safe. Whew! The danger is over!

But in the society that we live in today, most of the dangers are not like being chased like a lion. Most of them are things that are pervasive and more long lasting. And so we need more intentional ways that we complete the stress cycle by telling our bodies that we are safe. So on one hand, we need to deal with the actual stress or the thing that caused the stress. And on the other hand, we need to deal with our body that we really are safe. We need to do that on a daily basis, because the stress is going to build up on a daily basis. We need some routines that can help to reduce that stress and manage it and complete the stress cycle.

The most powerful way to complete stress cycles for most people is going to be exercise about 30 to 60 minutes of exercise at a level that raises your heart rate. If that doesn't work for you for some reason, some other options to think about are to experiment with things like:

• breathing strategies,

• meditation,

• affection,

• a six second kiss with someone that you love and have a trusting and safe relationship with,

• a 20 second hug—long enough for you to feel that melting feeling

• go take your dog for a walk or go on a walk by yourself. If you take your dog for a walk, maybe you get both affection AND exercise. The book doesn't talk about sunlight being good, but my understanding is that sunlight can also be something that can help to complete the stress cycle.

• And interestingly, being nice to other people and having a positive social interaction can help to complete the stress cycle. Just going to your local coffee shop and saying, good day to the person who serves you, your coffee is another one.

• Laughter is another one. That is a great way to complete the stress cycle because we can't be all stressed and in fight or flight and be laughing a good, really amazing belly laugh at the same time. I really recommend something like an improv class if you're up for it. Improv strategies are great for helping us to really celebrate failure and mistakes and to listen to each other. They're just great relationship tools and they make you laugh so much. So that's one that's also not in the book, but it's one that brings laughter.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to look at the list above, think about the things that are mentioned that can help to complete the stress cycle and to plan it into your day.

• Laughter

• Physical affection

• Breathing

• Meditation

• Physical exercise.

How can you get those on a daily basis? This is important, because the stress is going to come, and it needs to be kicked out!

Thanks to Emily & Amelia’s book Burnout for this illuminating concept!

Find this video on YouTube.

To learn more, read:

Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. (2020). Burnout: The secret to unlocking the stress cycle. Ballantine Books.